Admin (No PMs Please!)
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Excuses for not going to work!"I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work, ok?"
"My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and provide eternal peace. One day should do it."
"If it's all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all my guns today."
"I just found out I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain incorrect information."
"The dog ate my car keys. I've got to hitch-hike to the vets."
My personal favourite is the fourth one! Because it's true (legally), and they can't do a damn thing about it  
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