missj
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JOKES SERIOUSLY BAD ONES ONLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!REF- Im sending you off!
PLAYER- Wot for?
REF- The rest of the match of course!!!!!!
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RefSec
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Very bad, I groaned when I read it!!!!
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missj
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BOY1- I LOVE WATCHING FOOTBALL BUT I DONT REALLY UNDERSTAND THE RULES.
BOY2- I GUESS YOU SHOULD BECOME A REFEREE THEN!!  
Why did the ref give the cockerel a yellow card?
FOR FOWL BEHAVIOUR!!!
fans were waiting for a match to start when there was an announcement from the tannoy."the referee is ill" began the voice. "the match will be postponed unless anyone in the stand is a professional referee".
One man stood up and went to the dugout. "I am a referee" he said.
"Do you have any proof" asked the club chairman
"Well i dont have my licence here with me but you can ask my 2 friends that i have come with today"
"Well you cant be a real referee" blustered the chairman"NOT IF YOU HAVE 2 FRIENDS"
P.S THIS IS NOTHING PERSONAL TOWARDS ALL THE WONDERFUL REFS OUT THERE
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Little Bloke
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Lots of old / bad jokes!2 fat blokes walk into the bar and the first one says, "You're round!"
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
"Doctor Doctor, I lost my memory!"
"When did this happen?"
"When did what happen?"
Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of ring:
* The engagement ring
* The wedding ring
* The suffe-ring and
* The endu-ring
What lies on the ground, 100 feet in the air and smells?
A dead centipede!!
Patient: "Doc, will I be able to read with these glasses?"
Doctor: "You sure will"
Patient: "That's great! I never could read before!"
Patient: "I always see spots before my eyes"
Doctor: "Didn't the glasses help?"
Patient: "Sure, now I see the spots much clearer."
Now you see it..... now you don't - what are you looking at?
A black cat walking over a zebra crossing!
A panda walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a meal. When the meal finally arrives, he eats it quickly, then shoots a drunk and leaves the bar. A patron walks over to the bartender and asks, "what was all that about?" The bartender replies, "Look up 'panda' in the dictionary, pal." And so, the patron retrieves his Webster's dictionary from his coat pocket and looks up the word 'panda'. "What's it say?" Asks the bartender. The patron replies with a grin, "Eats shoots and leaves".
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RefSec
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A blind man walks into his local Tesco with his guide dog. He walks down the tinned veg aisle, bends down, picks the dog up by the tail and swings it round his head. The manager goes up to the blind man and says,"What are you doing, you cruel B@&*^"d! The blind man replies," It's alright, I'm only having a look around!"....
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missj
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HOW DO YOU CONFUSE AN IDIOT?
PUT HIM IN A ROUND ROOM AND TELL HIM TO PEE IN THE CORNER!
WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A GUTTER AND A POOR GOALIE?
ONE CATCHES DROPS THE OTHER DROPS CATCHES
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RefSec
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Whats the difference between a Mountain goat and a Goldfish?
One mucks about in a fountain..........you figure the rest out.
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Little Bloke
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Let's not go too close to the rail people - we operate on a zero-tolerance on abuse / swearing.... Lets keep 'em clean eh?
Sorry to be the miserable one, but we want the forum to remain clean at all times.
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RefSec
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Two cows in a field. One says,"Moo", the other one says,"Baa", the first cow says,"What did you say Baa for?", the second cow says,"I'm learning a foreign language!"
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missj
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THERES REFS IN FOOTBALL UMPIRES IN CRICKET SO WHATS IN BOWLS?
GOLDFISH
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missj
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LITTLE_BLOKE PROOF THAT WOMEN AND FOOTBALL DO NOT GO TOGETHER REALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
REBECCA ARRIVES AT A FOOTBALL MATCH HALF WAY THROUGH THE SECOND HALF "TERRIBLE TRAFFIC" SHE SAYS AS SHE SITS DOWN "WOTS THE SCORE" THE FAN AT THE SIDE OF HER REPLIES "NIL-NIL"
"THANKS" REPLIES REBECCA "SO WOT WAS THE SCORE AT HALF TIME"
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RefSec
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Why did the rabbit cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off!
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Little Bloke
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What do you call someone who keeps on and on when the other person is so obviously bored out of their skull?
A teacher.
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RefSec
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How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light-bulb?
Only one, but the light-bulb has got to really want to change!
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