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Penguin jokeA man walking his pet penguin was spotted by a policeman. The policeman told him," You should really take him to the zoo." The man replied,"I did that this morning, now I'm taking him to the pictures."
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Celtic_Steve
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old old old old old! 
I was driving to the office one morning when the car phone rang. I answered it, as it was a hands free of course, and my boss was on the other end telling me I had been promoted. This made me swerve the car.
A short time later that morning, as I was still driving to the office, the car phone rang again and again it was my boss telling me that once again I had been promoted, and again I swerved the car.
A short time later that morning, as I was still driving to the office, the car phone rang again and again it was my boss who this time told me I had been made a manager and I swerved the car off the road and hit a tree.
A policeman came to me and after asking me if I was alright, asked what had happened and I told him I had careered off the road.
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A horse walks into a Pub, the barman asks,"Why the long face?"
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